Over Thanksgiving, Ashley’s parents reveal that they still misunderstand her transgender status, claiming that she’s cross-dressing and that she’s making her coworkers uncomfortable. Her parents also wonder if Ashley’s gender therapist is putting ideas in her head, and worry that keeping and finding employment will get harder for Ashley.
Ashley attempts to talk with her dad about some recent MRI studies indicating that transgender status is likely rooted in biology—that transgender people are born that way—but the information is quickly swatted aside by her dad’s cognitive dissonance.
Ashley explains that her favorite top coat, Seche Vite, works best when immediately applied on top of the second coat (before the second coat even starts to dry) and she passes along a technique that you can use to selectively remove nail polish from only a few nails without affecting the rest of your manicure.
(Ashley’s polish in this episode is Wicked from Essie. We aren’t being paid to say this — just thought maybe you’d like to know.)
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Ashley gets catcalled and wolf whistled at while entering Target and feels a little apprehensive, but also feels a little pleased. Jay asks if her mixed feelings are unique to transwomen or if they’re common among all women.
They discuss the men’s clothes Ashley has already given away and the few masculine outfits she’s keeping for the time being. Jay asks Ashley about changing her watch style and whether she’s considered other accessories like toe rings, earrings, and other piercings.
Ashley fills Jay in on the latest updates to the Standards of Care, a set of guidelines outlining care and prerequisites for care for transgender persons. They talk over the positive and negative aspects of the updated guidelines, including fewer arduous waiting periods for some surgeries trans men may have, and the leftover stagnation among some of the preconditions for surgeries such as SRS.
Ashley shows off a top coat from China Glaze that can give any polish a matte finish and she offers a follow-up about her gel nails and the process she used to eventually remove her gel nail polish.
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Ashley talks about her parents’ recent visit and how she asked them to consider calling her Ashley rather than her birth name.
She also recounts the reprimand she received from her employer for using the bathrooms matching her gender presentation rather than those of the gender she was assigned at birth. Ashley struggles to grasp her employer’s rationalizations, but she resigns herself to workdays blighted by elevator slogs to restrooms on different floors.
Jay follows up on his earlier suggestion that Ashley buy some “girly glasses” and asks whether HRT has tempted her to drink more so-called “girly drinks” (even though Jay admits there’s no logic to that question). Ashley announces her nail polish bottle count and suggests a way to trade some of her lesser-used polishes in exchange for others she might rather have.
Ashley talks about which polish she finally decided to wear during her parents’ visit, Nite Owl from Orly’s “Birds of a Feather” collection, a taupe with just enough shimmer to keep things interesting. Ashley also espouses the value of the common cotton swab and makes the case for Johnson’s brand over Q-tips for this tiny but essential makeup tool.
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Ashley had come out to many of her friends and a few coworkers, but hadn’t yet come out to her family. She knew that was her next step.
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