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Accept? Yes. Condone? No.

February 15th, 2012

Jay Frosting

Ashley’s father seems to view her gender therapist as a sort of puppet-master (puppet-mistress?) pulling Ashley’s strings, even though Ashley switched from individual counseling to group support. Ashley’s parents say that they accept what she’s doing, but they make a point of telling her they don’t condone it. Jay thinks it means they now understand it’s not a phase, but Ashley infers it’s more likely that they think she’s crossdressing.

Ashley wonders how to get through to her parents and is nearly ready to give up, especially after her dad says that he doesn’t entirely accept publications like the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as truth. Ashley also continues to long for any recognition of her femininity from her mom.

Jay and Ashley discuss some fun things as well: her new pierced ears, the ideal diameter for hoop earrings (1.68 inches), using a flatiron, and matching polish precisely by bringing specific clothes to the store. Ashley finishes by describing some nail polish shortcuts and their inherent tradeoffs.


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  1. Dill #
    February 15, 2012

    Ashley I’ve been really impressed by how calmly you seem to have taken all the tough stuff you’ve been through recently like getting laid off and the problems with your parents – if it had been me I’d be in tears just talking about it I think, but I’ve always been a “cryer”. This got me to thinking, have you seen any changes on the teariness front since starting HRT? Do you find yourself welling up at things like sad films more? Would be interested to hear your thoughts or if you’ve read anything about it.

    Love the show :)

    • February 15, 2012

      Thanks for your kind thoughts, Dill!

      For what it’s worth, I have been able to cry more easily since starting HRT (both for happy crying and sad crying). And I often don’t mind it as it can provide a welcome release in emotionally-heavy situations.

      A few examples from past tweets:

      “Not crying watching Downton Abbey. Okay, maybe a little bit. Fuck me—it’s only the first episode of series one, too.”
      (From January 12)

      “@TalkEquality Your video made me cry, by the way. So happy for you!”
      (From January 2 in response to this marriage proposal video.)

      “I’m glad I watched Brokeback Mountain on Apple TV rather than on my iPhone on the flight—otherwise I’d be crying on the plane right now.”
      (From December 27)

      “Yes, this card made me cry.
      (From October 16 about a card a friend gave me on my transition day.)

  2. Jim #
    February 16, 2012

    I think this was an awesome post. And? That video was awesome too.

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