visit | Miss Gender

No More Ms. Nice Girl

August 6th, 2012

Jay Frosting

Ashley had been trying to remain patient with her parents’ refusal to use her new name or correct pronouns, hoping that they’d come around on their own. In a letter she sent them a couple months ago, she sternly asked them to call her Ashley and decided to correct them whenever they refer to her incorrectly. With Mom & Dad staying in her guest room just down the hall and the weekend’s imminent raft of corrections, Ashley felt a building sense of anxiety in the weeks leading up to their visit.

Her parents call her by the wrong name 18 times on the first day (yes, there’s an app for that), and Ashley turns to her online support network for advice. She considers asking her parents to stay at a nearby hotel if their devil-may-care approach to her name carries on.

Jay thinks Ashley’s parents use people’s names in conversation more frequently than necessary and he asks Ashley about whether her parents may be doubling-up on names out of spite or if that may be part of her parents’ upbringing.

A shopping trip the next day offers a few bright moments that take Ashley by surprise, and she and Jay try to puzzle out this new behavior and how to encourage it in the future.

Ashley introduces Sephora by Opi’s Nail Color Quick Drying Drops and shares a few tidbits around the chemistry of drying nail polish that she’s recently learned. Ashley also talks about a new technique for removing nail polish with only one or two cotton balls (and in as little as 5-10 minutes).

(Ashley’s polish in this episode is Fantasea from Orly. We aren’t being paid to say this — just thought maybe you’d like to know.)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Podcast (video): Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Winter Family Time

January 31st, 2012

Jay Frosting

Ashley visits with family and friends during the yuletide season and her parents obstinately use the wrong name and pronouns for her, creating confusion among some guests. For Ashley, it’s like insisting on using a woman’s married name even after she split with an abusive husband.

During her visit, Ashley’s dad conspicuously mentions that it’s okay if she doesn’t attend mass with the family on Christmas, which makes Ashley wonder if her dad is telegraphing some embarrassment to be seen with her at church. While making sandwiches, her mom lobs Ashley a verbal punch in the gut, seemingly unaware of the weight behind her words.

Ashley tries to remain optimistic her parents will eventually come around but it’s hard to imagine what will lead them toward full support. Ashley’s already feeling anxious about her parents’ upcoming visit in the fall. However, they are surprisingly understanding when Ashley talks to them about her recent layoff.

Jay learns that concealer can be a stand-in for eyeshadow primer in a pinch, and Ashley shows off a nail protein base coat by Nailtiques. Jay also learns what Ashley means when she describes herself as being “thirteen in girl years”.